Two Dollars A Day

Bluest Blue

2012-02-07T00:01:00.001-07:00

One of the most incredible things I have ever seen.

Self Portrait #8

2012-02-06T01:22:00.001-07:00

Happiness is....

2012-01-21T09:46:00.001-07:00

Everything. :)

Wishing I Was Somewhere Else...

2011-06-14T12:05:00.004-07:00

Or more specifically, there.

Self Portrait # 7

2011-06-13T06:09:00.002-07:00

Hiking somewhere lush.

Azer Kids

2011-06-12T09:24:00.001-07:00

As seen on the streets of Azerbaijan!

Azer Cats!

2011-06-10T11:05:00.004-07:00

Kitties! As seen on the streets of Baku!

Love, Love, Love

2011-06-09T15:09:00.004-07:00

St. Petersburg, June 2010.

Oh how I miss you.

Ho-Hum

2011-06-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's time for some pretty serious changes to take place and I'm not exactly excited about what alternatives there are available.

And No Water in Sight.

2011-06-04T09:13:00.003-07:00

Self Portrait # 6

2011-06-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Heaven, summer 2010.

"I Thought it was a Bird but it was just a Paper Bag"

2011-06-01T16:52:00.001-07:00

Just like most of America, I saw Bridesmaids over the long weekend and was reminded of how much this song kicks ass.

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Memorial Day

2011-05-31T12:25:00.000-07:00

Stupid Fascist Camps.
Kalipeda, Lithuania. Summer 2010.

Santa Fe

2011-05-27T07:44:00.001-07:00

Good times!

My Favorite Place

2011-05-26T07:53:00.001-07:00

Longwood, Holidays 2009?

Russian Reunion

2011-05-25T14:36:00.001-07:00

Summer, 2010.

La Aventura Mexicana

2011-05-24T07:48:00.002-07:00

Ensenada, Mexico. January 2010.

Self Portrait # 5

2011-05-23T13:40:00.001-07:00

The other side. Summer 2010.

Another Moz song about me

2011-05-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

In celebration of Moz's birthday

A few days late...

2011-05-21T20:07:00.003-07:00

but none the less, I still remembered.

*smirk*

Lillies

2011-05-20T07:20:00.001-07:00

I love taking pictures of flowers.

Doctor, My Eyes!

2011-05-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know how normal people deal with aging, but I know that I am not coping well with the small footprints of time that begin to manifest in various forms and in different ways across my being.

In particular though, the appearance of something in my eyes has been increasingly troubling. About a month ago, I finally did go see a doctor about it, where I was basically ridiculed for even noticing anything in the first place. With my instance, I did get a referral and finally was able to go to the eye doctor the other day, where I was given a name (unpronounceable and one I can't even remember) of the problem and told that it would not go away. Of course, once at home, and left to the devices of the internet, I am free to Google away and increase my worry and sense of gloom and doom. Even more so, the culprit does seem to be Arizona or more general, the Southwest.

As if I was not already over this place, I have now several medical reasons for wishing to leave this desert behind... Beautiful as it may be, I don't think that this Northeast girl was ever meant to live in such a climate that apparently has done nothing but torture my body in a variety of unpleasant ways.

I am just over it all.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2011-05-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

As much as I feel that I am ready to leave my Southwest home, I would miss the color, the geography, the Mexican influence... So many things. And I try to think about where I would go in place of Tucson? The answer is almost anywhere, but really?

They Say You Can't Go Home Again...

2011-05-16T22:18:00.002-07:00

...and most of the time, I tend to agree. It's been a long time since I've returned to one of my homes--since 2005 to be exact. Back to the days when this blog first appeared, before my adventure lead me away to Ukraine. I should return back in more than a month. It should be... nostaglic? We'll see.

Life on Mars

2011-05-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

Self Portrait # 4

2011-05-09T07:50:00.001-07:00

Flagstaff, cross-country skiing.

Also So Many Years Ago...

2011-05-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

I returned last summer, hoping to take my own photos (as my Russia photos vanished through the postal service) but the Summer Gardens were under construction.

Maybe next time. Hoping there is a next time.

So Many Years Ago....

2011-05-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have such a hard time remembering much of anything these days from that time period. I prefer to attribute it to personal development rather than old age!

Self Portrait # 3

2011-05-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hotel George, Lviv, Ukraine, winter 200?. Room 82.

What a View

2011-05-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

A storm is coming, summer 2009? 2010?

One of my Favorites

2011-05-02T07:23:00.002-07:00

Last May

2011-05-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

Due to the abundance of rain we received during last year's fall, we were welcomed in the spring by many beautiful flowers, covering the desert floor.

This year, we don't seem to be so lucky, but hopefully in the coming weeks I'll have some opportunities to scout out the desert.

You Might Recall

2011-04-29T21:47:00.003-07:00

Some months ago, after a nice leisurely lunch on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the distraction took me to the used record store, where he wanted to show me the collection of Morrissey singles he had found that was selling for over $100.

As we browsed among the different albums and titles, I found one that I have been missing for quite some time. I picked it up, in part as a gesture to see if he'd be embarrassed by my music selection. Immediately after purchase, we went back to my place where I placed it on the stereo and happily remembered most of the lyrics and danced around as he lazily looked on from the couch/futon.

While distractions never last, good music does.

What was it you said to me
Back in the days when things looked fine
'bout how we would be together
Until we left the earth behind
Oh, it's funny how things can change
Cos there was a time I thought I'd be the one
Who'd leave and start again
But now I'd stay forever

Ooh my hopes are as the leaves upon the water
Just sunk in the night
And though I know you couldn't care, you oughtta
Ah, the end of a life
Or maybe when you're older, and you're thinking back
You might recall
Now did I act carefully, did I do right?
Or were we meant to be, all of our lives
In love and harmony, all of our lives?

So now, take my hand
Come, hold me closely
As near as you can
Believing all that we could be
And all that we have been
And all that we are

Dismal

2011-04-28T06:58:00.001-07:00

Perhaps not what most think of when planning their "spring break."

25 Years

2011-04-26T20:54:00.003-07:00

5 years ago this evening I went to the theater in Kyiv to listen to the orchestra play a performance on night the 20th anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster. It was mournful and yet still full of spirit. A bit like the Ukrainian people, one could say.

I think about how quickly those 5 years have passed, and how within this past year we have witnessed another catastrophic event in Japan involving radiation from nuclear reactors.

25 years ago, I would have been 8. My memories of that time are vague. And like watching a movie with the lens covered in a thick gauze.

It's strange to think that 25 years ago I was sitting in a classroom and would eventually hear (as the rest of the world would alert us to what the Soviets tried to cover up) of this "nuclear fallout."

As a child, I was always interested in other places--their customs and holidays have always fascinated me most of all. I remember getting the impression that we were to fear the Soviet Union. Ronald Reagan perhaps gave me that idea, but it was perpetuated through the media, and perhaps even my parents.

I would have sat in that classroom, or in front of that tv all of those years ago and not had any idea where Ukraine was or even what it was. And yet, fast-forward 20 years later, and it is my adopted home and I am seated in the nation's capital, in their renowned theater, listening as the nation commemorates one of their greatest tragedies.

I met people who were affected by the Chernobyl disaster. People whose lives are still affected, as so many people (especially children) were relocated to other places to live. Even school age children today display the symptoms of the radiation poisoning that still exists in certain pockets of the country. While tourist companies may claim that it is safe to visit the zone, they won't be getting any of my dollars anytime soon.

So many things have changed, included the dissolution of the Soviet Union. Many scholars attribute what happened on April 26, 1986 as being a key event that shone the light on the corruption of the Soviet government to the rest of the world and of the Union's inability to manage and oversee its own infrastructure. That is to say nothing of their complete disregard for the people in the surrounding towns, like Pripyat and those individuals sent to fight the fires in the reactor, basically getting marching orders to go to their graves.

One of the most memorable museums I have ever been to is the Ukrainian National Chernobyl Museum which I visited upon my return to Ukraine in the summer of 2009. I believe I cried at several different points in this small museum, finding it to be so moving, and so utterly sad that this international catastrophe could have been avoided and at how callous and corrupt the Soviet government had become.

This evening, I especially remember Ukraine...

Self Portrait # 2

2011-04-24T10:04:00.001-07:00

Strange Behaviour

Lowest Point in US

2011-04-23T08:30:00.004-07:00

A close up of the salt:

A view of the basin--and of the salt:

Another view:

Thanksgiving 2009

2011-04-22T07:10:00.001-07:00

Death Valley, CA

No Smoking!

2011-04-21T22:16:00.001-07:00

Kharkov, Summer 2009

Today's Tarot

2011-04-20T14:50:00.012-07:00

The Past:

The 2 of Pentacles, representing indecision. A balance of two impossible opposites. The ship has sailed, a cycle is coming on.

The Present:

The High Priestess, representing looking within, isolation. A solitary woman. A female hermit. Going off by self. The psychic card.

The Future:

The 9 of Pentacles, representing fulfillment. Success. Prosperity, in a homey sense.

Other prominent card:

The Moon:

Pay attention to dreams, write them down. Self-discovery through dreams, and paying attention to intuition.

In general:

6 months till move, leaving Arizona for water. Grieving will continue.

Why Do You Come Here, When You Know..

2011-04-19T21:50:00.004-07:00

You had to sneak into my room 'just' to read my diary
It was just to see, just to see all the things you knew I'd written about you?
Oh so many illustrations
Oh, but I am so very sickened
Oh, I am so sickened NOW

Self Portrait # 1

2011-04-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

Where the streets have foreign names.

America the Beautiful

2011-04-18T07:17:00.002-07:00

Just a quick hike before the wedding

August, 2010.

Synchronicity

2011-04-16T18:34:00.007-07:00

The other night, some friends and I got in to a heavy conversation about religion and our individual belief systems.

I spoke about my tendency to be an "all or nothing at all" type of gal, and that these days I tend to stay on the "nothing at all" side of the spectrum.

Later, this personal declaration was turned on its head when I professed that I do put very heavy stock into the concept of fate, as that is how I have learned to ascribe meaning from things that I otherwise don't and can't understand. "Isn't that an 'all' mentality?" he questioned. Hmm.

I do attribute meaning to things that others would probably just consider coincidence. I believe that these signs are indications of actions I should take, of being on the right path, or at least "my" path, and that these things are connected in some way so that only I can derive meaning from them.

This afternoon, I did my weekly grocery shopping. While there, a student I have worked with came up to me and made the comment about me being a real person, who does things real everyday things like grocery shop; that I actually exist outside of my office and how weird that is. Ah. So I have become *that* person now, due to my age. How awesome.

When I came home, I did my normal routine, which is to bring in the bags, put them down in the kitchen, and start putting everything away. When I was done, I noticed a business card on the floor. It was one of mine from a previous life. I don't really know where it came from, but there it was.

And then it came, a connection between these two completely unrelated events.

Some years ago, in that prior life, a very similar thing happened. I was on a bus, going to work, and a few stops after mine I noticed a man getting on the bus who looked a lot like a friend of mine from my days as a VISTA. Sure enough, the closer he got to me, I realized it was my friend. We sat and chatted, caught up, and even sat together on the T until he had to get off for his work.

My takeaway impression from that positive experience was actually a negative. I lived someplace where I had an established past and where I would run into people I knew. That idea irked me. Shoot, it horrified me. If I wasn't moving physically to new and different locations, I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything. Or that I was alive.

Soon after, very soon after, I moved to Arizona.

Lately, in my struggle to find meaning in my life, I think about the connections you make and what makes a community or home. In general, it's neat to me that I've now lived here long enough to actually go out and run into people I know, but that business card and that somewhat off-putting encounter at the grocery store allowed me to make the connection that I could very well be ready to leave. And that prior city has some real major assets to it that I never was able to take full advantage of in that past life. Many of the things that I am currently seeking.

Is this coincidence? Just a rambling of thoughts, memories, and hopes for a better and happier me around the corner? Perhaps. But it's nice to recognize signs or at least to dream about them, even if for some reason, I am able to find the answers here.

A Few From the Recent Past

2011-04-14T06:28:00.005-07:00

Spring walk in the Catalina's, May 2010

Largest public outside Memorial Day gathering in the US, May 2010

Chiricahua National Monument, July 2010

Rules of Attraction

2011-04-13T20:30:00.004-07:00

Call me old school, but if I didn't give you: 1) my phone number or 2) my email address and I only politely tell you my FIRST name and where I work, I don't want you to email me or call me at my work place.

I'm a polite person, so yes, I will respond, and I'll say "working on things right now, not really interested in meeting anyone" because 1) it's true and 2) I'm not into you.

Don't continue to write to me or be pushy about wanting to meet. I understand that in the law of averages this method must work a certain percentage of the time, but with us other women, it just comes across as psycho.

Also, don't call yourself an intelligent person when you don't know the difference between to and too and lady's and ladies. It's insulting to me, who actually does know the difference between these things. I was too (see, that's how that word is used) polite to bring up the point that your one course at the U does not charm me. If donkeys could pay and prove citizenship, they'd be allowed to take classes at the U too.

But what pisses me off more than anything else is this: because I don't "belong" to a man either by being in a relationship or marriage with one that that makes it okay to harass me even after I've said no. Twice. After you contacted me inappropriately. Twice. That is not how this works. I should not have to lie and say that yes, I have a boyfriend, in order for you to honor the words "thanks, but I'm not interested."

I'm angry. What is wrong with people and why do they think that this is an appropriate way to contact people? Am I crazy for thinking that this is out of line? When does it become too far? When he comes to my house? My work place? What?

This is the second time in less than three years that a man has acted out of bounds with me. Do I wear some sort of sign on my face that says "desperate?," "lonely?," "no self-esteem?" What is it? It's NOT ok. I'd love to point the finger at the person who put me in this situation to begin with, but perhaps there is something about me that makes me an easy target? Is it my stupid smile and nervous laugh? Jesus. Someone just tell me what makes me so vulnerable to the wrong kind of people so I can fix this, and either be more assertive or more open!

The Quiet Pleasures of Snow

2011-04-12T07:38:00.003-07:00

Staring out across a snowy backyard, I saw two birds fly from tree to tree without making a sound. I miss that kind of quiet.

Spring Beauty..

2011-04-11T07:22:00.003-07:00

Is there anything quite so wonderful as a spring snow storm?

The Colors of the Southwest

2011-04-07T07:54:00.003-07:00

As I prepare for snow, it's nice to remember the vibrancy that exists in my desert home.

Sometimes I wonder....

2011-04-06T20:55:00.002-07:00

...why would I ever want to leave?

Arizona

2011-04-03T10:27:00.004-07:00

As of a few months ago, Arizona has become the place that I have lived the longest since graduating from college back in 2000.

This means that I've lived here for over 27 months.

What a feat that is for a person like me.

My beloved supervisor from my VISTA days once said, "Molly does everything in two year stints." For some reason, I always took that to heart. Two years is long enough to get the hang of what you are doing--to learn the lay of the land--and to have seen enough to know that you are ready to move on to greener pastures and not get bored or complacent.

Perhaps that is one way of attempting to describe what could otherwise be referred to as 'itchy feet' but I've really tried to dig down and make the Sonoran desert my home. The natural beauty is astounding and I have endless opportunities for hiking and great weather.

But the work lacks meaning for me.

Currently, there are opportunities to instead work on personal growth, which in some ways I believe can only happen by being stationary and fighting against similar patterns I've used in the past in an effort to find what it is that I truly want. On the other hand, what is the point in fighting something that just has never felt entirely "home"?

I miss having meaning and purpose in my life. I'm looking for something, but I'm still not clued into what it could be. Teaching? Development work? Running volunteer programs? Working towards social change?

I just don't know. But I am thinking that I should sit on a bit....

Or maybe not?

Time

2011-03-24T07:14:00.008-07:00

A month ago, in celebration of the 50th year of the Peace Corps, I attended an event on campus that focused on the concept of "Time," and what time means to Volunteers.

Time does mean something different for Peace Corps Volunteers in service. It is quiet--fixing up your home, reading a book that you never had time to read at home, drinking endless cups of tea or coffee with local family members and friends... It is reflective--journaling, or thinking about life back home, talking with other Volunteers, sharing lesson plans... It is anything but the 9 to 5, rush rush rush, pick up the dry cleaning, go to the gym, get the groceries, or the walk the dog pace of life back home.

I miss that Peace Corps Time.

At the event, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers brought in objects or photos that personified what Time meant to them during their service. It was a great event and a wonderful way to remember my own service and the Time I spent (and how it was spent).

Fast forward to this past weekend. I was visiting a "Peace Corps buddy" (or what we like call one another: PMFer) and we got into a spirited discussion about how many times I visited her at her site. I was adamant that I went twice, citing very specific examples of each visit. She believed it was only once. I'll check my books, I said, but knowing that they were over 2,200 miles away in Arizona, I thought this blog would be more readily available, believing that I probably mentioned both visits here.

When we got back to her apartment, I searched in vain. There was no mention of the winter visit that I remember so clearly and that I needed to prove.

This blog is a collection of my Time in Peace Corps. The things I thought interesting or purposeful to share with those of you who bothered to read. An attempted reflection of the exciting, the interesting, the out-of-the-ordinary, along with the mundane, the day-to-day, and the boring events that took place.

What strikes me as strange now, looking back over the collective body of posts, is how many things are absent. How protective I was of myself, of other volunteers, of my feelings, my reactions, and what was important to me. In attempting to look up this visit to Melitopol, I realized how little of myself is represented in this Time. How incomplete a picture this represents. How little there is of the person who was my biggest supporter, best friend, and who was always in my thoughts and who got no sanitized version of life in Ukraine. The person who is now absent from my life, for quite possibly forever. I regret that perhaps the most--that maybe in some way, my refusal to write openly about this relationship was somehow indicative of how afraid I might have been to love.

Who knows.

I can't rewrite Time. But I can learn from it.

The Story Continues....

2009-05-21T16:50:00.002-07:00

This Sunday I get to return to my country of service, Ukraine, for work.

I am very excited about my upcoming trip and can't believe my good fortune in being able to go back so much sooner than I ever would have anticipated.

I remember before leaving Ukraine, a student asked me if I planned on coming back to visit. Of course I responded in the affirmative, because how could I not want to go back? When she asked when that would be, I responded, "oh, I don't know. 5 or 10 years?" She let out a groan and said, "but that is too long." Indeed. But without knowing what type of job awaited for me back in the States and consequently what type of financial situation I would be in, how could I have known that about a year and a half later I'd be able to go back to my site and visit with the people that I miss.

I have some trepidation about my upcoming journey, mostly regarding coming back to a place that is no longer my home and that has "moved on" so to speak, since the last time I was there. I wonder what will be different and what will be the same. I wonder if my students will recognize me or remember me.

I am also anxious about the work end of it--traveling with so many faculty and my boss makes me hope that I do a decent job, although I definitely feel more along for the ride, instead of having to perform.

Because this blog was about my original journey to Ukraine and my re-acclimation to America, I thought that this new venture was something to make note of as well.

The Journey Was Over

2008-11-08T12:19:00.003-07:00

On October 8th I arrived in Tucson and checked into a hotel. I spent 3 days looking for an apartment, which was incredibly exhausting. Tucson has tons of apartment complexes, complete with pools, fitness rooms, and club houses. However, all the ones that I viewed (which was over a half dozen) just didn't seem like home.

I came across a cute little house (split) with an adorable fenced in back yard and felt immediately like I was home. Unfortunately, the place was already promised to another person, but it gave me hope that something could be found more to my liking.

Finally, on the last day of my search, I contacted a realtor and told them exactly what I wanted. They gave me a list, about 6 sets of keys and sent me on my way with a map. The final place I viewed (not nearly as cute as the place I loved) seemed to be a good place. I could see the skyscrapers from downtown and was still close to the university, so it seemed like a good place to call home while I settled in. On Friday, I signed the lease and moved in (even though I had no gas for hot water or a stove).

I had travelled almost 2,900 miles in total and crossed a dozen states and three (well, four) time zones.

It has taken me awhile to get used to some things--the heat being one (it was ridiculously hot when I first arrived, but has cooled off quite a lot since then), but am enjoying living out here in the Southwest. I have not had tons of time to enjoy my new surroundings, but I hope to in the future, because there is no shortage of things to do or places to see.

Tucson is certainly no Boston, but that is completely the point. I have arrived and am doing well in the desert.

Welcome to Arizona

2008-11-08T12:16:00.001-07:00

From a rest stop:

The Final Stop

2008-11-08T12:11:00.003-07:00

I left Deming fairly early in the morning and continued heading west. I stopped in a town along the boarder to get some breakfast and noticed just how culturally diverse the Southwest is. In Boston you do hear a smattering of different languages everywhere you go, but I could not say that one foreign language was more prominent than any other. But in the Southwest, it is evident that Spanish is very widely spoken and that people are ethnically diverse--Native American and Mexican influences are everywhere.

Soon enough, I was entering Arizona and as if from nowhere, the scenery started getting higher, more rocky, and more beautiful. I was home.

The Union Pacific Railroad

2008-11-08T12:08:00.001-07:00

Images from the car in New Mexico

2008-11-08T12:04:00.002-07:00

Passing Through the Land of Enchantment

2008-11-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

More Images from the car (Texas)

2008-11-06T20:00:00.001-07:00

Wind Farm, Texas

2008-11-06T19:58:00.001-07:00

Images from the open road in Texas

2008-11-06T19:55:00.001-07:00

Speeding Through Texas

2008-11-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

LBJ's Park and Ranch

2008-11-04T06:49:00.005-07:00

The House LBJ grew up in.

LBJ's Ranch and grave are protected by ferocious cows.

LBJ's Serengeti.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

2008-10-23T07:18:00.006-07:00

Early Monday morning, I took off from Austin, heading out to Johnson City and beyond to meet up with Interstate 10 and continue heading West. My goal at the end of the day was El Paso.

Another full day in Texas was in front of me.

Why does Texas have to be so huge? Why can't they just divide it up into North, South, East, and West? Heck, they could throw a "New Texas" and "Central Texas" in there too, just for good measure.

Anyway, I got to Johnson City pretty early, but decided to stop and check out the LBJ birthplace and park. It was not open yet when I arrived, but I took the opportunity to walk around the park grounds and walk a small distance on a trail. After entertaining myself for a bit, the park opened and I walked through the exhibits about his life and times.

I do love history, but when I think about my country during this century, I think that no other decade must have been so turbulent, strange, and exciting as the 1960s. So many social and political changes going on all over the world. I listen to people who were alive during those times talk about it, and it just seems so moving. People responded to things with passion, whereas I tend to think today we get more apathy than anything else. Where are our young people? Why are they not so called into action like those from that generation? I don't get it.

So, this time period already inspires me, and LBJ specifically so for his desire for social change and social justice. Viet Nam tends to overshadow his entire Presidency, and I think that on the homefront he did try to make a difference to the poorest in this country, and for that, I respect him.

Since it was so incredibly early, I basically got a personalized tour everywhere I went. To his home as a young man, I was taken around room by room and saw that he did indeed have quite a nice upbringing, certainly not similar to that of his running mate JFK, but certainly nicer than a lot of people, I can assume. He grew up without much indoor plumbing (while there is an outhouse, the family did have an indoor tub connected to water) or any electricity. That is actually one of the first things that he did as an elected official--to bring electricity to the population in Texas's hill country. Because of this, the house was more light and airy than ones made today, and doors seemed to lead all over the place with the dining room being the center for the household.

Further down the road, you can head to the LBJ Ranch or as it is also known, the Texas White House. Newly acquired by the National Parks, little by little they are opening up the home to reflect the time that LBJ lived there and used it as his home away from home while President. There I also got a private tour of the office, which is currently the only room open to the public. It was still so neat and such a different experience than going to a home of someone who lived centuries ago. He had telephones everywhere (apparently LBJ loved gadgets) and typewriters and televisions. It was interesting listening to the Ranger describe what it was like for LBJ and how his staff and cabinet worked while at the Ranch. In addition, he said that after the assassination of JFK, new security measures were taken to protect Johnson at the Ranch, which was a security nightmare since there were not fences and miles and miles of acres to patrol.

In addition, laying the wires for the phones (remember, this is during the height of the Cold War, so he needed the power to push a button if need be) clear out to Austin and back. The Ranger said that they still will be digging and come across wires just all over the place.

Since the death of Lady Bird, they have taken over the whole house and will open more rooms over the next few years.

After exploring all that I could, I continued my drive west on I-10. The hill country was quite striking and made for an incredibly pleasant trip--well that and the fact that NOBODY was on the road. The further I got out, the larger the mountains became and the more scrubby the landscape. While it was still daylight, I passed through El Paso and decided to keep going to make it into New Mexico. One thing that I did notice, driving through El Paso, was a large Mexican flag over to my left. Mexico is *that* close.

I ended my day in Deming, New Mexico as it was getting dark. New Mexico's topography differed from Texas in that the mountains got fewer and turned into little singular hills. Still interesting to look at, but definitely not as pretty.

The Fourth Leg

2008-10-16T07:06:00.002-07:00

Texas, Texas, Texas.

I think that it's hard not to love Texas. A state that is larger than all countries in Europe and has it's own culture, mentality, and state of being.

I took off early from Old Boston and headed as fast as I could to Austin--where I was going to stay with a friend from Peace Corps and we would meet up with several other friends from Ukraine.

I got there relatively easy, although I still don't know what the heck I passed on the way into Dallas--a long bridge over some sort of lake, which I can only assume was man-made?? I have no idea. And Dallas has a drive named after the Ewings. Can you believe that? I have never seen a highway, boulevard, etc, named after a fictional television character. Bart Simpson Boulevard, anyone?

Arriving in Austin, I was exhausted but ready to hang. Had a great time catching up with folks and was taken to a huge restaurant where I ate something along the lines of fritos and chili. It was actually good, although I was initially... disgusted.

Ah. Texas.

William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library and Park, Little Rock, Arkansas

2008-10-15T07:11:00.003-07:00

Crossing the Mississippi!

2008-10-15T07:06:00.003-07:00

Graceland Photos

2008-10-14T07:20:00.007-07:00

The Mansion:

Because a man can never have too many white jumpsuits:

Or gold lame suits:

Or fabric covered billiard rooms:

R.I.P. Elvis:

The Third Leg: The day of firsts and fun!

2008-10-14T07:01:00.003-07:00

Leaving Nashville in the morning, I continued my way west. After a few hours, I stopped at my first tourist destination: Graceland. I can't say that I am huge fan of Elvis Presley or anything, but shoot, I don't know how anyone who goes to Graceland can't be somewhat impressed by the "King." Or at least the kitsch surrounding the place.

Tons of fifties style gift shops, diners, and Elvis music blaring all over the place. It was hard not to get caught up with all of it. Elvis and his family are buried on the property as well, so it sort of has a wacky sacred feeling about it--at least for those who might consider themselves followers of the King. There is a complete devotion to the positive attributes of Elvis only: his generosity, his music, his playfulness--not those things that people like myself, who have only heard about his addiction and weight gain know. Actually, there was not one shot there of Elvis where he looked unattractive or strung out. And no real mention of his death. And no, we aren't allowed to go upstairs and view the spot where he died.

At any rate, I am glad that I went and definitely enjoyed my visit.

This day, besides Graceland, was a day of pretty cool firsts for me: Travelling west from Nashville I spotted fields of fluffy white, which I took to be cotton. Other than viewings of "Gone With the Wind," I don't think that I've ever *seen* cotton before. After leaving Memphis, I immediately crossed the Mississippi River, something I've only flown over before. And of course, while crossing the river, I passed into the state of Arkansas, a state that I had never been to before--the first new one of the 10 total states that I passed through to that point (Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, Tennessee, and Arkansas).

My next stop was to head to Little Rock and check out President Bill Clinton's Presidential Library. Since writing my thesis some years ago, I have wanted to visit this place and check it out. My thesis dealt with AmeriCorps, the program that Bill Clinton helped to start and so many of the documents relating to the program are housed here in the library. Unfortunately it was closed by the time I got there, but I got an opportunity to check out the neat architectural building (which it is pretty cool looking) and use the Porto potty outside (although the University of Arkansas Bill Clinton School of Public Policy had a ton of urinals just laying on the ground outside of the building--I have no idea if that is a maintenance issue or a political statement?) and head through town.

I had been warned that Little Rock was not a whole lot to see, but I dug it driving around and trying to find my way back to the interstate. I asked several people for directions, and they were incredibly friendly and 'ma'am'ed me tons. It was humorous, but I certainly appreciated the uber-politeness of these folks and the cleaned up look to their downtown area. I could see how someone like Hillary could get by in a town like that.

Further on down the road, when it was time to get gas, I kept up the Clinton theme by stopping in Hope, the birthplace of William Jefferson Clinton. It was dark, but I decided to just take a drive through town.

It didn't take long. Main Street may have been half a block. The Clinton Visitor Center is an old Train Station/Depot. Never did find the house.

At the end of the day, I came to rest my head in New Boston, over 1000 miles away from the old Boston that I knew, and in Texas to boot!

The Second Leg

2008-10-11T05:37:00.005-07:00

On Friday morning (October 3rd) (I decided to stay and watch the much anticipated debates on Thursday) I left for Nashville, over a mere 800 miles away. The trip was long, and made even longer by frequent potty stops. The scenery was beautiful though, and kept me going. Passing through the rolling hills of farmland Pennsylvania, I was cognitiscent that it would be a long time before I saw them again.

I went through Maryland and West Virginia in a flash, but spent most of my day down Interstate 81, following Shennadoh most of the way. I have taken that route before, many years ago, when I was a VISTA at Lasell and took a group of girls on a trip to Rural Retreat, Virginia. Years before that, a group visited a high school friend for his birthday at VA Tech. The mountains there remind me only of Scotland and it is no surprise that many Scots found there way to those hills hundreds of years ago and never went any further.

Finally, after literally hours of driving, I made my way into Tennessee and drove across the state encountering more and more traffic until I was in Nashville and at my destination. It had been over 13 hours on the road and I was just zonked. Thankfully, my host was kind enough to have some vittles ready by the time that I rolled up.

The First Leg

2008-10-01T16:19:00.003-07:00

On Monday I left Massachusetts and headed home to Pennsylvania. I was incredibly fortunate that the first glimpses of autumn have begun in New England, which made for a quite visually pleasing drive. I am aware that this is probably the last fall that I will get to see until who knows when as the desert does not have much of a transition between seasons, and certainly not the same variety of colors for the fall.

On Tuesday I got to visit one of my childhood haunts, Ocean City, NJ and visit with a dear friend from school and her wonderful family. The trip out was beautiful as well, with bridges skimming over the marshes--complete with long-legged birds, and again, the fall colors made it all quite a pretty picture. Stops at Mack~Manco's pizza, Shrivers, and Richman's on the way home made the whole day complete.

Today was spent doing errands, stopping at the bank, AAA, etc and inquiring to new colleagues about things like housing and other relocation questions. I am eager to get started...

Ugh.

2008-09-26T05:32:00.001-07:00

Moving is always stressful but yesterday evening it got a whole lot worse when the person who said that he was going to move into my apartment e-mailed and said that he would be unable to.

I leave Monday and have no one to take over my lease, which means that I'll be out at least one month's rent. I am so angry/frustrated.

But I guess that helps to give me energy to pack.

The First Day

2008-09-25T06:35:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was my last day of work. Sometime in late spring I realized that life in Boston was not all that it was cracked up to be and started pursuing other opportunities outside of the Boston area.

Fortunately enough for me, over the summer a position became available at a University in Arizona for a Study Abroad person to work specifically with Eastern Europe and Russia. Obviously that was a no brainer for me and as the months progressed, I kept saying in my head "if they don't at least call you back for an interview, something with your resume is *really* wrong." But they did call back and a phone interview was had and quickly after that they invited me to campus. They flew me out to their beautiful city and did not make me wait too long (actually, I was at the airport on my way back to Boston) before telling me their decision. I was elated. But also scared.

I came home, waited for things to be official and put in my notice at work. While I have made no secret about not particularly liking the duties of the job, I did enjoy my coworkers and the students (for the most part) were really awesome, and I had an opportunity to practice my Russian with students from that part of the world, which was always fun for me.

But today is the first day of the last days. It's time to clean, pack, do errands, change addresses, and say goodbyes. Never much fun at all, but I know that I'm making the right decision for myself.

I'll be out of Boston next Monday and on to Pennsylvania for a few days before starting the solo trek out West, driving almost completely across the country.

But before I can get to that, I gotta start packing!

Got Kvas?

2008-09-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

View

2008-09-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Adriatic Sea

2008-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

Washing Up

2008-09-22T06:30:00.000-07:00

Roof

2008-09-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

How the Locals Cool Off

2008-09-22T06:23:00.001-07:00

Too many choices...

2008-09-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

Riding in Style

2008-09-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

More picks from the islands....

2008-09-18T03:45:00.000-07:00

This is Hvar.

It is getting cold...

2008-09-17T03:47:00.000-07:00

So I am just trying to recapture some of the warmth from the island of Korcula.

Tomorrow

2008-09-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

I am resigning from my job. Yay me!

Dubrovnik

2008-09-08T04:40:00.003-07:00

Those Other Years In Service

2008-08-07T16:09:00.003-07:00

On occasion after work, I'll slip into the gym located in the same building. When I plan to do this, I bring with me a change of clothes--sweatpants and an old t-shirt, the typical gym uniform.

After working out, I don't bother to change, just grab my things from my desk and head out to catch the T. Today, sitting down on a concrete bench waiting for the next inbound train to Alewife, I was just about to delve into my book when a young girl with a short haircut leaned in and asked, "are or were you a VISTA?" I replied that yes, I had been one and asked if she was. Of course she was. Only another AmeriCorps volunteer would recognize the greys, especially if they were partially covered up by a cardigan, as mine was. She just started a few weeks ago at a non-profit that works as a sort of Good Will for children, as she explained it to me. She came up from Philly, after working for a few years. Wanted to do something more, but something that still seemed like real work, a real job. VISTA won out over Teach for America, and given the description of what she wanted, it made complete sense.

Eager and excited, she chatted up to Downtown Crossing, when she had to take leave to get herself home to JP. She seemed so enthusiastic, so willing. Not afraid to be poor for the next twelve months. I suppose I remember what that was like.

I told her some of my hesitations about the program, something that I don't think that I would have been able to envision a few weeks into it the process as she is now. The inablity to truly act as an Agent of Change. The inability to be politically active or political. I asked her about the upcoming election, if that was going to be difficult. She nodded and thought a bit. She had been concerned about that. She said that she was thinking of working at Planned Parenthood during the weekend, but then decided against it, because she felt that it would conflict with her mission in VISTA. Yet, on the other side of that fence, religious organizations have AmeriCorps volunteers serving in them, I pointed out. And yet. When you serve, you serve 24-7. There is no division between your time and America's time. At least, that is the literal relationship. It's like being a Peace Corps Volunteer, except in your back yard.

I then went into networking mode, as perhaps the college could do something for this organization--a fund raising drive, a toy drop off around the holidays, something for our student programs to get involved in. You never know. But such is the way of a VISTA, always diving right into things, ready to take action, ready to respond.

Once a VISTA, always a VISTA.

Swallow's Nest, near Yalta, Ukraine.

2008-07-31T04:53:00.000-07:00

Getting Over It

2008-07-31T04:39:00.002-07:00

I can't believe that I have been home for almost 8 months. Soon it will be a year. I have stopped saying things to new people about Peace Corps. If they ask what I did before I was here, I say that I was abroad, or that I taught, or something vague. This is mostly because I allowed myself some time to deal with the transition by being vocal about it, allowing the "this one time in Ukraine..." stories, or simply by making observations between here and there to people. But typically the responses, while polite, are a glazed kinda look like "here she goes again" and I realize that most people just can't relate to such an experience and most people don't want to. And that's fine. I just can't relate too much to them in return. Rightly or wrongly, I decided what the difference between "me" and "them" was just this experience, so when I meet new people, I omit the Peace Corps experience.

I wonder what other people have done in similiar situations? It was a very important part of my life and even after all these months later, I miss the experience every day, so I feel like I should be able to talk about it, but at the same time, I don't want to alienate people. Or more importantly, myself.

In all actuality, I think that I need to find more fulfilling work that will allow me to have that same sense of purpose, responsibility and challenge that I felt from living and working Ukraine. If you'd talked to me recently, then I've probably mentioned a position in Saudi Arabia. I'm not sure if I've gone off the dead end yet... But it may just be a matter of time! In the meantime, I'll be over in the corner, answering the phone like a robot. :)

Welcome to Nikolaiv, the ugliest zh. d. vauxhaul in Ukraine

2008-07-29T03:22:00.000-07:00

Strangely Enough...

2008-07-26T05:21:00.001-07:00

Directly after posting these photos, I went to my inbox and saw that the PCVUkraine group had sent out an e-mail. The subject line? Krakow. Here is a link that talks about why this city is such a wonderful travel destination. http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008807200492

Krakow

2008-07-26T04:59:00.004-07:00

Krakow is an escape for Eastern European PCVs. It's Europe without the sticker shock of the Euro. And it's absolutely beautiful. For me, Krakow also held one more very important attraction: it was a budget airline hub. In addition, it was also unbelievably easy to get to and from the airport to the city and the train station is steps away from the old part of town. It's all just too... convenient. Something rarely afforded to us in our daily lives. These pics are from last July.

Krakow's most famous site is the Castle. Here is a just a small detail of the space that sits up on a hill.

Is the Pope Catholic? Well, not anymore, but you can still rest assured. There are as many Catholic churches in Krakow as there are universities in Boston.

From Above

2008-07-23T19:35:00.001-07:00

Instead of writing cover letters, I've decided to post pictures!

You Scream, I scream...

2008-07-23T19:30:00.001-07:00

Spoiled

2008-07-20T18:49:00.003-07:00

So, yes, I just got back less than a week ago from vacation, which means that I don't have any right to complain, but it was hard not to acknowledge that over a year ago I was just getting back to Ukraine after vacationing in Croatia.

I lost the disk that Eric gave me but found it today, which seems so fitting, since it is the anniversary of the trip. I am putting in some pics from the island of Hvar, which I would do just about anything to get back there right now.

Austin

2008-07-19T06:43:00.002-07:00

Last Monday, late late at night, I arrived back at the Logan airport. Sadly, I missed the last Silver line bus and had to take a cab back to my home. Then the day after returning to work, I slept through my alarm and woke up 45 minutes after I should have left the house. Needless to say, I was exhausted.

But what else could have been expected?

On the go for the past 4 or 5 days could have been the culprit, but I would not have had it any other way. We spent a wonderful holiday in Austin, Texas, which I have to admit, converted me to a bit of that Texas chauvinism.

It's big, it's spread out, it's barbecue, it's cowboys, it's fabulous. I loved it.

Austin really does seem to have everything.

What kind of flowers are these?

2008-07-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

Images from the Texas State Capitol Building

2008-07-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

Sunflower

2008-07-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

In Texas, they ponder deep and meaningful Theological questions

2008-07-19T06:36:00.000-07:00