Synchronicity
The other night, some friends and I got in to a heavy conversation about religion and our individual belief systems.
I spoke about my tendency to be an "all or nothing at all" type of gal, and that these days I tend to stay on the "nothing at all" side of the spectrum.
Later, this personal declaration was turned on its head when I professed that I do put very heavy stock into the concept of fate, as that is how I have learned to ascribe meaning from things that I otherwise don't and can't understand. "Isn't that an 'all' mentality?" he questioned. Hmm.
I do attribute meaning to things that others would probably just consider coincidence. I believe that these signs are indications of actions I should take, of being on the right path, or at least "my" path, and that these things are connected in some way so that only I can derive meaning from them.
This afternoon, I did my weekly grocery shopping. While there, a student I have worked with came up to me and made the comment about me being a real person, who does things real everyday things like grocery shop; that I actually exist outside of my office and how weird that is. Ah. So I have become *that* person now, due to my age. How awesome.
When I came home, I did my normal routine, which is to bring in the bags, put them down in the kitchen, and start putting everything away. When I was done, I noticed a business card on the floor. It was one of mine from a previous life. I don't really know where it came from, but there it was.
And then it came, a connection between these two completely unrelated events.
Some years ago, in that prior life, a very similar thing happened. I was on a bus, going to work, and a few stops after mine I noticed a man getting on the bus who looked a lot like a friend of mine from my days as a VISTA. Sure enough, the closer he got to me, I realized it was my friend. We sat and chatted, caught up, and even sat together on the T until he had to get off for his work.
My takeaway impression from that positive experience was actually a negative. I lived someplace where I had an established past and where I would run into people I knew. That idea irked me. Shoot, it horrified me. If I wasn't moving physically to new and different locations, I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything. Or that I was alive.
Soon after, very soon after, I moved to Arizona.
Lately, in my struggle to find meaning in my life, I think about the connections you make and what makes a community or home. In general, it's neat to me that I've now lived here long enough to actually go out and run into people I know, but that business card and that somewhat off-putting encounter at the grocery store allowed me to make the connection that I could very well be ready to leave. And that prior city has some real major assets to it that I never was able to take full advantage of in that past life. Many of the things that I am currently seeking.
Is this coincidence? Just a rambling of thoughts, memories, and hopes for a better and happier me around the corner? Perhaps. But it's nice to recognize signs or at least to dream about them, even if for some reason, I am able to find the answers here.
I spoke about my tendency to be an "all or nothing at all" type of gal, and that these days I tend to stay on the "nothing at all" side of the spectrum.
Later, this personal declaration was turned on its head when I professed that I do put very heavy stock into the concept of fate, as that is how I have learned to ascribe meaning from things that I otherwise don't and can't understand. "Isn't that an 'all' mentality?" he questioned. Hmm.
I do attribute meaning to things that others would probably just consider coincidence. I believe that these signs are indications of actions I should take, of being on the right path, or at least "my" path, and that these things are connected in some way so that only I can derive meaning from them.
This afternoon, I did my weekly grocery shopping. While there, a student I have worked with came up to me and made the comment about me being a real person, who does things real everyday things like grocery shop; that I actually exist outside of my office and how weird that is. Ah. So I have become *that* person now, due to my age. How awesome.
When I came home, I did my normal routine, which is to bring in the bags, put them down in the kitchen, and start putting everything away. When I was done, I noticed a business card on the floor. It was one of mine from a previous life. I don't really know where it came from, but there it was.
And then it came, a connection between these two completely unrelated events.
Some years ago, in that prior life, a very similar thing happened. I was on a bus, going to work, and a few stops after mine I noticed a man getting on the bus who looked a lot like a friend of mine from my days as a VISTA. Sure enough, the closer he got to me, I realized it was my friend. We sat and chatted, caught up, and even sat together on the T until he had to get off for his work.
My takeaway impression from that positive experience was actually a negative. I lived someplace where I had an established past and where I would run into people I knew. That idea irked me. Shoot, it horrified me. If I wasn't moving physically to new and different locations, I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything. Or that I was alive.
Soon after, very soon after, I moved to Arizona.
Lately, in my struggle to find meaning in my life, I think about the connections you make and what makes a community or home. In general, it's neat to me that I've now lived here long enough to actually go out and run into people I know, but that business card and that somewhat off-putting encounter at the grocery store allowed me to make the connection that I could very well be ready to leave. And that prior city has some real major assets to it that I never was able to take full advantage of in that past life. Many of the things that I am currently seeking.
Is this coincidence? Just a rambling of thoughts, memories, and hopes for a better and happier me around the corner? Perhaps. But it's nice to recognize signs or at least to dream about them, even if for some reason, I am able to find the answers here.
posted by Molly | 6:34 PM
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