10 Things I dislike about Ohio
Like Fox News I prefer to be fair and balanced, providing you, dear reader, with both sides of the story.
Some time ago I highlighted some of the magnificent things this fine state has to offer. Today, I will address the downsides to living in what is typically referred to as a "fly-over" state.
10) The Indians. Not those people who come from Asia. Not those Native Americans who had their land stolen by the white dudes. The Cleveland Indians. It's hard for me not to grimmace everytime I see the mascot on hats, shirts, and so on. I just find it offensive. What can I say? I've overly P.C.
9) Location. Location. Location. Okay--so I survived four years literally in the middle of nowhere. But I was young then and able to invent fun. Now it's just depressing and lonely. Detroit is not that far away, but I ask you, would you want to hang out in Detroit? No. I've been there, I was not shot at, robbed, or hurt, but why take your chances? And of course, there was the programmed response my friend and I got when we were mere prospectives at BGSU: "There's always Toledo." We later assessed this in the hotel room asking ourselves, can this really be true? Because when I think about the cities in America that inspire me to think to myself "yeah, living there would be cool" Toledo, Ohio is not on that list. Hell, if I had to place it on that list, it would be somewhere after Detroit, Michigan. I have ended up actually liking Toledo, but I believe that this is almost entirely due to the Toledo Museum of Art. Actually, it is entirely due to the Toledo Museum of Art--it's fantastic and it has a Wyeth. I also later heard said friend (who became my roommate) use that line "there's always Toledo" not in jest on one occasion, and knew that it was time for him to go....The Scientologists had obviously gotten to him.
8) ugly American cars. Hey, I love America, let's not mistake that, but Detroit, we have a problem. Someone has got to pretty these ugly cars up so that people will buy them. And not just Americans. UAW is strong out in these parts, and Jeep has a factory in Toledo, so I understand, but oy, they are ugly and not the most safe or longest lasting vehicles on the market.
7) Lack of interesting vacation spots. Listen, everyone knows someone in Ohio. But no one visits someone in Ohio. Yes, I have had two (2) exceptions: once a friend and her then dude were traveling cross country. As Ohio is in fact in the United States, the country she was traversing in a westerly fashion from the Northeast, it was bound to happen. The second time a friend was visiting a college and I was only a little over an hour away, so why not? These were both circumstancial. Don't get me wrong, I was excited to see them both, but again, if Ohio was home to say, New York City, or Los Angeles, more people would come. Ohio should think about this. Dayton does not exactly rivet tourists. The best thing Ohio has is Cedar Park, and I don't do roller coasters.
6) Lack of diversity. This could simply be due to where I am situated, but there are not really any other types of visible people other than white straight people. Coming from working on a college campus with people of all sorts of backgrounds, this was really disappointing, although I can only imagine that in Ukraine, there will be even less diversity and probably less of an availablity to be open.
5) Along with number 6 is the lack of diversity of opinions. Students here often times seem content to think alike, dress alike, talk alike, and not ask questions. This is the majority. There are those special students who question both their professors and their peers and who are active politically on either side of the aisle, and I applaude them. It's just not many of them, and attempting to be an educator in such an environment is saddening.
4) Tornadoes. This is scary stuff, if you ask me. All the buildings on campus post tornado emergency directions, which are reminiscent to fall out shelter directions and is just plain scary. However seeing one from a safe distance would be cool. The downside is that they say there is no safe distance when watching a tornado.
3) Pop is soda. Even though at Kroger the sign above the aisle says "soda."
2) The food. Memphis, you think bbq, right? Philadelphia: cheesesteaks. Baltimore: crab cakes. You get the idea. Certain parts of the country are known for certain culinary delicacies. But Ohio? It's a void. It has been the home to the worst Indian food I have ever had, for one, and several heinous crimes in my book. One: They toast all subs. Yes ALL. You have to specifically ask for them not to do it. It's like did I call Quizno's? No. So why are you burning my hoagie? Number two is the worst in my book: the pizza here is awful. AWFUL. In certain parts of the country, you wonder why places like Domino's and Pizza Hut can exist because their pizza is so yucky. Here, all pizza tastes like that. You can't get a slice of it anywhere, meaning that if you want it, you have to order an entire pie of the stuff. It's not even like Chicago's deep dish, which has it's time and place. It's just heavy on the dough, no flavor to the sauce or cheese, and kinda doughy. My mom I think questions why I always want to eat pizza when I am at home, this is why.
1) November 2, 2004. Any possibility for a love affair with Ohio ended on that day. Ohio, I will never forgive you. Well, I could. But you'd have to do more than send me $30 in the mail as a "tax refund" buy my forgiveness.
There are always other little things, but those I suppose, are the main complaints.
Some time ago I highlighted some of the magnificent things this fine state has to offer. Today, I will address the downsides to living in what is typically referred to as a "fly-over" state.
10) The Indians. Not those people who come from Asia. Not those Native Americans who had their land stolen by the white dudes. The Cleveland Indians. It's hard for me not to grimmace everytime I see the mascot on hats, shirts, and so on. I just find it offensive. What can I say? I've overly P.C.
9) Location. Location. Location. Okay--so I survived four years literally in the middle of nowhere. But I was young then and able to invent fun. Now it's just depressing and lonely. Detroit is not that far away, but I ask you, would you want to hang out in Detroit? No. I've been there, I was not shot at, robbed, or hurt, but why take your chances? And of course, there was the programmed response my friend and I got when we were mere prospectives at BGSU: "There's always Toledo." We later assessed this in the hotel room asking ourselves, can this really be true? Because when I think about the cities in America that inspire me to think to myself "yeah, living there would be cool" Toledo, Ohio is not on that list. Hell, if I had to place it on that list, it would be somewhere after Detroit, Michigan. I have ended up actually liking Toledo, but I believe that this is almost entirely due to the Toledo Museum of Art. Actually, it is entirely due to the Toledo Museum of Art--it's fantastic and it has a Wyeth. I also later heard said friend (who became my roommate) use that line "there's always Toledo" not in jest on one occasion, and knew that it was time for him to go....The Scientologists had obviously gotten to him.
8) ugly American cars. Hey, I love America, let's not mistake that, but Detroit, we have a problem. Someone has got to pretty these ugly cars up so that people will buy them. And not just Americans. UAW is strong out in these parts, and Jeep has a factory in Toledo, so I understand, but oy, they are ugly and not the most safe or longest lasting vehicles on the market.
7) Lack of interesting vacation spots. Listen, everyone knows someone in Ohio. But no one visits someone in Ohio. Yes, I have had two (2) exceptions: once a friend and her then dude were traveling cross country. As Ohio is in fact in the United States, the country she was traversing in a westerly fashion from the Northeast, it was bound to happen. The second time a friend was visiting a college and I was only a little over an hour away, so why not? These were both circumstancial. Don't get me wrong, I was excited to see them both, but again, if Ohio was home to say, New York City, or Los Angeles, more people would come. Ohio should think about this. Dayton does not exactly rivet tourists. The best thing Ohio has is Cedar Park, and I don't do roller coasters.
6) Lack of diversity. This could simply be due to where I am situated, but there are not really any other types of visible people other than white straight people. Coming from working on a college campus with people of all sorts of backgrounds, this was really disappointing, although I can only imagine that in Ukraine, there will be even less diversity and probably less of an availablity to be open.
5) Along with number 6 is the lack of diversity of opinions. Students here often times seem content to think alike, dress alike, talk alike, and not ask questions. This is the majority. There are those special students who question both their professors and their peers and who are active politically on either side of the aisle, and I applaude them. It's just not many of them, and attempting to be an educator in such an environment is saddening.
4) Tornadoes. This is scary stuff, if you ask me. All the buildings on campus post tornado emergency directions, which are reminiscent to fall out shelter directions and is just plain scary. However seeing one from a safe distance would be cool. The downside is that they say there is no safe distance when watching a tornado.
3) Pop is soda. Even though at Kroger the sign above the aisle says "soda."
2) The food. Memphis, you think bbq, right? Philadelphia: cheesesteaks. Baltimore: crab cakes. You get the idea. Certain parts of the country are known for certain culinary delicacies. But Ohio? It's a void. It has been the home to the worst Indian food I have ever had, for one, and several heinous crimes in my book. One: They toast all subs. Yes ALL. You have to specifically ask for them not to do it. It's like did I call Quizno's? No. So why are you burning my hoagie? Number two is the worst in my book: the pizza here is awful. AWFUL. In certain parts of the country, you wonder why places like Domino's and Pizza Hut can exist because their pizza is so yucky. Here, all pizza tastes like that. You can't get a slice of it anywhere, meaning that if you want it, you have to order an entire pie of the stuff. It's not even like Chicago's deep dish, which has it's time and place. It's just heavy on the dough, no flavor to the sauce or cheese, and kinda doughy. My mom I think questions why I always want to eat pizza when I am at home, this is why.
1) November 2, 2004. Any possibility for a love affair with Ohio ended on that day. Ohio, I will never forgive you. Well, I could. But you'd have to do more than send me $30 in the mail as a "tax refund" buy my forgiveness.
There are always other little things, but those I suppose, are the main complaints.
posted by Molly | 12:04 PM
4 Comments:
No. I never had a hard time in PA. I also didn't think that Myle's Pizza was great--it did seem more like Chicago style though.
Oh and I guess I should also say that *you* always came to visit me in Ohio, but not because you wanted to come to Ohio...
Oh, i think i meant to post here instead of sending you an email. sorry, i'm a newbie.
What i meant to say was - what about skyline chili?
That's definitely an ohio thing - and not too bad, as crappy fast food joints go. better than mcds, but then again, anything is better than mcds in my book, except for maybe lion's choice.
Leah, what about Hardee's (or was it Arby's?) chicken?
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