The Koom/Kooma Relationship

Ukrainians have very interesting relationships with one another that only emphasize how this culture values friendship and community. For one, they specific words for all in-laws, meaning the husband's mother, the wife's sister, and so on, not just "mother-in-law" or "brother-in-law."

But the relationship that I am going to refer today is that of the 'godparent' to the 'godchild's' parents. Not everyone in the United States has the tradition of having a godparent, typically celebrated only in the Catholic church. Here in Ukraine, everyone does it, whether they are religious or not and they take this dedication very seriously. They are expected to help instruct the child and help him or her grow up to be good adults. More importantly, there is a long standing relationship between the godparent and the parents of the child, which is collectively (from what I've gathered) referred to as kym for men and kyma for women. So, for instance, my host mother is kyma to at least two different children as far as I know in addition to having her own kym and kyma for her own child, Maxim. From what I gather, the Ukrainian counterpart I have at the Pedalogical College is somehow kyma to someone in Sveta's family one way or another, so they are in essence, "like family." Tradition has it that the first child you are godparent to should be of the opposite sex, so our Language teacher, for instance, has many friends with only girls, so she is not kyma to any of them, although her two children have kyms and kymas. Make sense?

So last night I went to a birthday party for a boy who was turning 7. My host mother was either his kyma or his younger sister's kyma and was invited. It was a close family gathering with only family and godparents invited. There must have been 14 people there, including the 3 or 4 little children, and about 900 pounds of food. No lie.

Everyone who was there seemed to be a godparent of someone or other, as Ukrainians tend to have smaller sized families, rarely having any more than 2 children. It was a great time, and again the food was fantastic and the language that was mostly spoken was Ukrainian, so I was at a complete loss. Which is not the first time, I have to honestly admit.

We drank shots of homemade vodka, and the family and friends gathered were very curious to know whether or not Americans made their own vodka. I replied that people made their own whiskey, but I'm sure if people wanted to, they could likewise make their own vodka too. This alcohol is also only drunk after someone has made a toast, of which people, there were many. But it was interesting because that is not the same thing in our own culture when people are free to drink as little or as much as they want without this practice. Glasses are then refilled and plates must have food on them. Because of the aforementioned stomach issue, I am always very careful about my food intake, but here they kept saying something like 'you must eat,' the belief being that after drinking alcohol, if you have something to eat it will soak it up and you won't be sick. Also, I think the word on the street is that vodka improves your appetite. It seemed to do the trick for me, as I was pleasantly surprised as I was able to chow down on numerous tasty Ukrainian delights like fish and beets smothered in some sort of mayonaisse (believe it or not, it was good) or the same variation but without beets and carrots instead. Galuptsi was present and is a pretty famous Eastern European dish and they were very proud to have me taste it and wanted to know if it could be found in America (it can if you know where to go). It's a cabbage roll with meet and rice and spices. Pretty darn tasty stuff. Present was pizza that didn't seem to have mayo on it (it does exist, I guess, Cathy!), fruits, chicken fried with egg, some more fishie stuff, blini with liver (I did not partake) and homemade dumplings filled with meat which were tasty too.

Highlights of the evening involved a heated political discussion between two men on opposing sides of the Ukrainian political fence (one man participated in the Orange Revolution and gave me a Yuschenko button, which I did accept but told him that Peace Corps regulations prohibited me from wearing it. "In America" he told me, implying that when I am home I could wear it). I had no idea what they were talking about, and some of the women did participate in it as well, but I had no idea what was said. There was also some exchanges made at my expense of course, and always the implication of me finding some Ukrainian man, even if he's married.

All in all it was a fantastic night, even if I could barely understand a word that was said.