Excitement Waning

As the time draws closer to the date when I fly home, I find myself less and less excited about the prospect.

This can be attribute to the many conflicting thoughts I have about returning to life in the United States.

In Ukraine I had a rewarding and honestly an easy job. I really enjoyed teaching, and my days, while at times taxing, where never a 9 to 5 situation. I came and went as I pleased for as long as I taught my classes or gave a good enough reason why I couldn't, they were happy.

I had a comfortable apartment that I didn't have to pay for. It even had a washing machine.

I have neither a job nor a place to live in America, and I know neither will be as ideal.

There are other important factors/differences between the two. The support network I built in Ukraine I would have to say in retrospect, was especially strong. We were the only people who could understand the situations that we found ourselves in (perhaps excluding the few visitors that we had who got a glimpse of our daily lives or those who have spent time in other developing post-Soviet countries) and we supported each others trials and triumphs. And most of us did all of this alone, no small feat. We could and did call each other at all hours, venting, celebrating, or just gabbing about nothing. I was really very fortunate.

Coming home, I have to look forward to prostrating myself on prospective employers and roommates doorsteps, begging for places to stay, and little immediate understanding of the frustrating situation I find myself in. But I suppose that that will pass in time. It just means currently that I'm not excited about coming home at all.